Blog 30: The Frustrated Writer

I’m HUGELY frustrated with the whole publishing business right now, I must say. Yet another rejection today for crime comedy, The Gangster’s Wife, so I’ve decided not to bother any more. I’m utterly fed-up and depressed about the whole business. Really, there’s no point as it increasingly feels as if I’m just spitting into the proverbial, and some. So I’ll self-publish it instead and then I can move on and forget it, hurrah. Which will, at least, be something.

In other news, I’ve finally had the courage (go, me!) to gently chase the publisher who still has the exclusive (as if I even merit such a professional term) on gay fantasy The Taming of The Hawk. I’ve advised them that this week I’ll contact other publishers too, as having an exclusive look at anything for 9 months is just ridiculous – though I of course didn’t entirely put it like that … They came back to say they’d be looking at it as soon as possible, which is what they’ve said twice before, so I’m taking it with a large pinch of salt.

However, I’m happy to say – that after a great deal of writerly begging (oh, I’m so classy, you know) – I managed to persuade 20 kind readers (thank you!) to download the free copy of gay fantasy The Executioner’s Cane from Amazon over the weekend. Which is more than double the number of free copies of fantasy Hallsfoot’s Battle which were downloaded the weekend before, hey ho. Progress indeed!

Writerly Confidence Rating: 0.5

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Blog 28: Whatever you do, don’t be a writer …

Hey ho. Still waiting for publishers to stir themselves and send me the inevitable rejection letters for The Gangster’s Wife and The Taming of the Hawk. The Hawk possible publisher promised me a quick response to my resubmission over two months ago now, you may recall, so evidently their understanding of ‘quick’ isn’t mine. There’s a surprise, eh. I’m way too scared to send another reminder though, as they’ll just say they don’t want it and I don’t think I can take another writing fail moment just now.

Talking of which, it has seriously annoyed me this morning when I was reading my “How to be Confident” book that it suggested you should make a list of your dreams and then plan to do them as this would make you happier and more confident. All well and good, but the very first example they used was the mythical case of ‘Jim’ who’d always wanted to be a novelist but had never had the courage to go for it. If only Jim could take steps to fulfil his dream and start writing now, they say, then he’d be a more confident and rounded human being, they say. Huh! As if, eh! I snorted and threw the pesky book across the room. In all honesty, I was a lot happier, more confident and fully rounded (in a good way) human being before I took the steps to try to be a writer. Over the last twenty years, it’s actually made me a whole lot more fragile, easily depressed (in a medical sense), less confident and hugely frustrated as books come and go, get torn apart by some, read by the blessed few (for which thank you) and largely ignored by anyone and everyone else.

So my advice to Jim is: if you want to be confident and happy, put the pesky pen down, keep your dream as a dream, turn your back on the spiky and difficult world of writing and go and do something else more joyful instead. Anything else … If you don’t, you’re in for a huge amount of disappointment, jealousy, rage and despair, and I’m not sure, if you’re being used as an example in a book about How to be Confident, that you can actually cope with that. I certainly can’t.

Sigh. Anyway, in other news, I’ve now written 10,000 words of The Old Bags’ Sex Club – so that’s 10,000 words of a book no publisher will so much as glance at and probably only about 3 or 4 people will ever read. Run, Jim, run for the hills …

Writerly Confidence Rating: 1.5

Blog 27: Half price book sale and Amazon disappointment

From today until 16 Septemberall my Amber Quill Press books are in the half-price book sale so don’t miss out! 

You have a choice of gay thrillers:

Or you could try erotic comic menage (now, there’s a genre to get your teeth into!):

Alternatively, you can go for the quirky romance option:

Or maybe you prefer a touch of the paranormal?

All that and more! What are you waiting for? Happy shopping and even happier reading.

Turning to more ordinary matters, I was disappointed at the weekend that only 9 free copies of fantasy novel, Hallsfoot’s Battle, were downloaded in the Amazon giveaway. Oh the disgrace of it all, eh. I couldn’t even shuffle into double figures. I really do have absolutely no idea how to encourage any readers out there to give my work a try. It’s a mystery. 

My mood isn’t helped either by the continuing lack of any response to any of my novel submissions. I actually do feel as if I might be turning entirely invisible, and nobody can hear my screams. Hey ho. It’s all very exhausting indeed at the moment.

Writerly confidence rating: 4